The Office Trip
by texasPanzer
Summary: Michael, Jim, Pam, and Dwight head for the south for a business trip and the documentry crew tags along to film the hilarious events that follow when Dwight takes Land of the Dead way too seriously
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters to "The Office", they are owned by NBC cooperation. When sentences appear in italics, the characters are speaking in their solo interviews with the documentary team.

_Dunder Mifflin Paper Products_

Staggering into the elevator at the lobby Michael Scott sighed in defeat as the door closed and began to ascend. His eyes watched as the number ticked higher and higher. "This is going to be a long day" he sighed to himself as the doors opened to his floor. Entering his department, the first person that he sees, as well as every other day prior, was Pam, his receptionist.

"Hi, Michael" she smiled at his entrance. Pam was a young fiancée to Roy that worked in shipping down below and somehow always bubbly. Answering back with a mumble, Pam handed him the morning's mail and calls. "This is from corporate." Pam said, passing him a couple of sealed envelopes and on top was a purple post-it.

Pausing to read her writing he asked, "What is it?"

"It says that there will be a convention in South Carolina and you are to attend," filling in the blank.

"Why me? What's in South Carolina?" Michael asked as he tried to read the cursive writing.

"Not sure" Pam explained, "They just said you are supposed to leave tomorrow. They're going to fax us the informa…." She began but gritting his teeth Michael walked into his office, carrying with him the concerned eyes of Dwight, his assistant. Sitting next to him was Jim, another salesman whom has been there for a few years. Looking right, Jim gave Pam a raised eyebrow of; what is going on? Pam merely smirked and shrugged her shoulders.

Inside his office, Michael closed the slats to his blinds and closed his door, leaving Dwight even more agitated. As assistant regional manager, it was his duty as XO to Michael to know all events that were to occur within the branch and staff. A few minutes elapsed then Dwight forced himself up from his desk and into Michaels' office. Unannounced, his entrance startled the boss whom was half asleep behind his desk.

"Alright, Michael, what's going on? It's from corporate, isn't it? Is it about the downsizing? Is Jim being fired?"

"No, Dwight" Michael replied, arms crossed on his desk and head resting on them. Each question was being answered this way, despite what was being said, even when Dwight asked if he could enter the ladies' rest room to find out what was written about Michael on the wall. Five minutes later, a furious and defeated Dwight reemerged from Michael's office and sat down at his desk. Jim had moved from his desk over to Pamela's. Leaning on her desk and Jim leaning on the lip of the high, curved desk they were whispering to one another. They had been doing that for years. To what was exchanged between them was private. Not even the camera crew's sensitive microphones were able to pick up their whispers. After a few more minutes, Jim returned to his desk where the phone began to ring. Picking it up, he began his sale of paper products. Living on commission, each sale was vital not only to him, but to his company whom was constantly threatened with downsizing. It was a toss-up between Scranton and Stamford over who was going to be closed. In order to spunk gains to overtake the other, Michael was constantly trying to come up with ways to entice new costumers and also reward his workers, however each one was a flop thus each failure was weighing on the minds of the employees, a fear that they would be next to get pink slips.

Two weeks prior to this Michael remembers when, in New York City, all members of corporate had thrown together a celebration after Michael's branch had won a large contract to supply the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania with its paper. It was a major win thus Michael was invited to New York City to celebrate. It was a memorable event with nice music and dancing. Jan could move her feet well on the floor alone. He tried to dance with her however he had two left feet then he tried his hand at karaoke after pushing away a man with a golden voice and did an off key rendition with, "Hero."

Next week after that there was a drastic change. A motion picture, "Land of the Dead" the latest installment from George Romero was released on DVD and Jim was one of the first to pick it up. He invited Pam over to his house that night as a sort of "popcorn film" to help ease the tension from work, that and Roy and his brother went to another hockey game and forgot to invite her. All throughout the film Pam huddled next to Jim on the couch in the dark living room. She had always been afraid of horror and gore and this was the appropriate time to be with someone for protection and Jim chalked it as one of the best nights of his life.

Dwight, however, also bought the movie and spent the entire night becoming far too involved in it plotting defensive plans and analyzing the zombies instead of just enjoying it. A few days later as Jim was typing on his keyboard he was interrupted by Dwight with a question, "Hey, Jim."

Jim sighed slightly then looked up at the moon faced salesman.

"What if, one day, we were all turned into blood thirsty cannibals?" Dwight asked his face showing no emotion.

"You mean, all of us, here, at the office?" Jim asked.

"Yes," Dwight continued, "But, what if, _you_ were one of them. Who would you eat first?"

Instead of answering, Jim merely stared at Dwight for a moment and curtailed a sinister smile that made his questioning come to an uncomfortable end.

_(interview) Jim: Dwight is now heavily involved with the undead. Cannibals. I am a horror fan, but he went way overboard. For the past few days, he's been weird. Even by his standards._

Michael has also been in the dumps as of late. An iron shell formed around his persona turning him into a quiet, mundane boss that did little to nothing including not coming out of his office. Without his interruptions more work actually got done without Michael until the time dwindled to his departure. He summoned Dwight into his office. "There's a meeting South Carolina that we are to attend." Michael sighed as he twisted side to side in his chair.

"What do you mean "we"?" Dwight asked.

""We" meaning as in you, me, Jim, and Pam," Michael said reading the post it that Pam gave him. In a moment Jim was also summoned to Michael's office and he immediately asked, "Why me?" Saying to himself at the say time, "What the hell did I do to deserve this?"

"Yes, why him?" Dwight stepped in.

"Because he brings in money, and I need Pam as my receptionist to…receipt…stuff," Michael said, his voice low almost as though he was about to fall asleep.

"As assistant regional manager…" Dwight began to say.

"_To the_" Jim added.

Dwight shrugged him off, "Shouldn't you have your second in command remain here to rule in your stead?" Every time Dwight spoke his title, he neglected to instill that he was, in fact, assistant _to the_ regional manager, merely an assistant, not a real second in command.

Taking in a long, heavy breath, Michael leaned in his seat and stared at the ceiling for a moment then looked back, "I am taking you with me, Dwight. As much as I don't want to. But Jan insisted that you come as well."

A few minutes later Michael emerged from his office and called for the attention of everyone in the office. He announced the departure of himself, Dwight, Pam, and Jim, effectively taking the head of the department. "Who will be in charge of the place, then?" Angela asked from her nook behind Pam's desk. Angela was a short blonde haired, middle aged manager of accounting. She was uptight and at odds with Pam on many occasions.

Having never appointed a third in command Michael quickly thought in his mind and said, "You will be, Angela." A moment of silence hovered over the room as eyes looked back and forth uncomfortably.

_Kevin: If Angela is my boss, I would stick my head into a shredder….very slowly._

Michael added one more note to his three compatriots, "We leave tomorrow morning. Pack your bags for the weekend. We'll meet here and then carpool to the airport." Finished, he turned and reentered his office, shutting the door behind. In his wake, there were many perplexed faces. Pam looked at Jim with an upturned eyebrow. Just as confused, Jim looked at Dwight with a blank expression.

_Jim: I have to spend a whole weekend with Dwight? That includes a plane flight to and back, plus a hotel? One of us will not return alive._

The blinds in his office closed, Pam tried to raise her boss via phone with no success. Corporate forwarded all the information to Pam in regards to travel information, hotel conformation, and the lot however because Michael refused to answer to her hails the information accumulated on her desk. She then called Roy, her fiancée, that she will be gone.

_Pam: For the last few days, Michael as sort of, unattached himself from the rest of life. He is quiet, dull, and unremarkable. I miss him._

The remainder of the day passed without mishap. Struggling to make his day bright, Jim continued to make accurate and hilarious impressions of his colleagues for Pam's laughter. It was upbeat to see her smile and laugh while leaving Dwight unable to catch him in the act.

The next morning, just as Dunder Mifflin was opening for business Pam greeted Jim at her desk, her bags behind her desk. "Are you all set?" she asked as Jim set his bags on the couch.

"Yep. I have my suit, shoes, and a heavy set of earplugs." Jim answered.

"Did you bring me anything?" she teased.

"Novocain"

While they laughed, Dwight stepped in bringing a much larger bag in his left hand and dry cleaned suit draped on the opposite shoulder. Jim looked at him, baffled. Why so much?

"I never leave home without being properly prepared for emergencies," Dwight responded with a firm tone. "Inside here is a complete survival pack. Flares, flashlight, space blanket, matches, batteries…."

Interrupting him midway, Pam informed that he could not bring flares or matches onboard the plane. "Besides, we are only going to be there for the weekend" Jim added.

"Doesn't matter." Dwight concluded, "I'll take my chances. And when we are floating on a raft in the ocean, you will be shivering and going hungry while I will be warm and fat on fish." The last to arrive was Michael carrying one small bag and a suit. His attitude had not improved and when he entered the office he flicked a look at the three and turned around sharply, "Alright, let's get moving." His feet were swift to the elevator perhaps thinking that the faster he moved the faster all of this will be over. Catching up, the four stood silently for a moment as the doors opened and entered at once. When they closed, sealing them in, Dwight nudged Jim, "Hey, Jim, did you bring your portable DVD player?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I brought with me the Dead series so now; we can watch it in our room, in the dark."

"Better keep your hands to yourself" Jim joked while Pam giggled.

"Girl" Dwight spat, rolling his eyes.

Taking a taxi to the airport their first flight was onboard a puddle jumper to Philadelphia and from there hop a connection, a non-stop flight all the way to South Carolina. It was here in Philadelphia, while waiting in the terminal in the last half hour to boarding that the group began to learn more and more of themselves. "Sorry, Pam, about your blouse. I had a rough evening…last night…" Michael said with a reddish face. Emerging from one of the gift shops with a newly bough shirt on Pam was upset that she had to be rid of her best button up blouses after Michael vomited all over her. She said nothing, remaining stern faced with arms crossed as they sat side by side until they began to board.

_Jim: It was a fountain. It just came out and continued for at least a minute. Good lord, how much did that guy eat?_

As they sat in the terminal Michael felt his stomach beginning to tighten. His body leaned forward, coughing, and throat squeezing together, the sign he was about to vomit. Dwight realized this and swung into action. Restraining Michael, he tried to clear his airway by forcing his mouth open and that failedin large part to Michael's resistance and as they quarreled he vomited. His head pivoted freely trying to get out of Dwight's grasp the green and yellow liquid mass that left his body spewed around with no aim. No one was spared from the deadly and noxious weapon. Pushing his obnoxious coworker away Michael finished it off by running to a garbage can then to the bathroom as Pam and Jim slowly inched themsleves away from the mess and from Michael throwing away their connection with him. Coming back with Pepto and somewhat settled Michael finally asked if corporate faxed Pam the information about their lodging, which they did. However, there was one serious flaw. The people in New York City booked only two rooms with two beds each. Though she tried to talk to the people in charge they ignored her because she was low on the totem pole. Only Michael could have done this and he refused to answer her calls.

Upon hearing this, Michael became ill again and everyone scrambled away. It was rapidly becoming a disaster for him. This trip could mean the life and death of his branch, not to mention his career. He hoped that he would have peace to clear his head and think about what he would say and do to those in the South to give him a solid foundation. Stepping onboard the plane and finding his seat by himself Michael sat down, his face showing worry. A flight attendant came by and noticed his perdictament, "Sir, is this your first time flying?" she asked him.

Consumed by his problems thus unable to answer Dwight stepped up, "Yes." The seat next to Michael was vacant because of his spewing but that did not stop Dwight from wanting to sit next to him. Dwight stuffed his bags in the overhead bin and sat down much to Michael's dismay.

"This will be great, Michael," Dwight smiled. "I hear they will be serving chicken on this flight." It did not matter. Passengers began to orient themselves as the flight attendant came back and he asked her, "Excuse me. How long is flight?"

"Five and a half hours, sir"

His eyes wide the boss slumped in his seat, "Oh, joy."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters to "The Office" They are owned by NBC as far as I know. Talking heads are printed italics.

It was a long trip, indeed. Situated in four seats, only a small aisle separated the four members of Dunder Mifflin and that was not enough to silence an ever rambling Dwight whose prime intent was to give trivia on the Dead series by George Romero. Taxed ever further, Michael, it seems, was bearing the full weight of the company on his scrawny shoulders. Flying in coach with brats and Dwight, and though they bagged the big sale with Pennsylvania he felt that it might not enough to keep the boat afloat and the dreary thoughts of downsizing hung heavily in his mind. If his branch closes down then Michael was out of the job. There was no other work profession that he was qualified for due to his long experience with Mifflin's paper products. Not only that, what would become of those that served faithfully under him, namely Dwight, Jim, and Pam. Where would they go? Surely Jan, his boss would transfer them to other positions, but that hung up in the air, free to grab with others.

At the same time, Jim was seated comfortably in his chair next to him was beautiful Pam whom opted to close the window's blind.

_Jim: I think Pam has a fear of flying. I'm not sure, but I didn't bother to ask._

_Pam: Yes, I do. I hate to fly. It's not really something I wish to talk about._

Without knowing it, Pam's hand was digging into Jim's thigh and as the plane departed from the terminal and began to taxi onto the runway, there was a tense buildup for the four. Engines gunned and they were pressed back into their seats. Dwight screamed in excitement. As the plane began to lift off, there was a brief moment of suspense where Pam's heart stopped. Would the plane stall and plummet back to earth? She waited, hand digging into Jim's thigh though she failed to realize it at the moment. Across from them, Michael was dealing with demons his own way. Fists balled up on the tips of the arm rests, teeth mashed together, he closed his eyes and groaned as the engines accelerated to full speed and altitude. Counting in his mind, a full minute passed and there was no bone jarring crash or explosion. They were airborne and were going to stay that way. Drat.

When they leveled off at twenty five thousand feet Pam relaxed, but not before leaving an indelible mark on Jim. "Sorry" she smiled sheepishly.

"It was quite alright," Jim said as she let go then he began to rub his sore leg. Several more minutes passed, eerie silence between them, before Pam shot across to Michael, "Just what exactly are we supposed to do in South Carolina?"

"We are going to attend a convention" he stated matter of fact.

"Yes, we know that, but, what are we supposed to do there exactly?"

For that, Michael did not answer, merely shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes to sleep. Stepping in, Dwight answered, "We are going to be representing Dunder Mifflin. As such, we will break into separate teams and infiltrate the enemies' network. Find out how they work and sabotage their sales and pollute their work staff."

"Infiltrate the enemy networks? Are you a commando?" Michael spat.

"No, I'm a volunteer sheriff's deputy. I know how to infiltrate into an enemy's organization and destroy it from within," proudly.

"The Girl Scouts of America" Jim whispered to Pam.

It should be noted that this trip was thrown at them at rather last minute. Being boss is not all fun and games, despite the screen that Michael Scott puts up. On nearly every level, he fails to be adequate, yet he holds his position. How? That is one of the mysteries of the universe though those underneath him are perhaps more competent than he was. Dwight is good with sales by being straight forward and sometimes intimidating whereas Jim was more laid back and friendly. The former enjoyed the perceived control he had in the office as Jim ignored his orders and used every opportunity to undermine him at Dwight's expense. Even still, as the plane winged its way across the states, there was no further information being thrown their way about they were supposed to do and Pam feared that they would become the embarrassment of the whole company.

_Pam: I'm really, really scared right now. Because, Michael is silent, and he usually is not. In fact, it's nearly impossible to make him shut up. We have absolutely no idea what's in store for us and if we fail, we could lose our jobs, and I have my wedding coming up._

_Jim: I am actually not really scared. If this branch goes down the toilet, then it means that I do not have to look at Dwight anymore and I could transfer to another branch. But, that could also mean that I won't see Pam anymore….now I'm scared._

Headphones clasped over his ears, Dwight played his movie, pausing, rewinding, and playing over scenes again and again while Michael tried to eat an inflight meal of microwave lasagna. Seeing bodies ripped apart while eating tomato paste is not a stomach comforting feeling. Giving it up Michael tried to sleep and Dwight turned off the movie and asked Jim, whom was enjoying reading a magazine as Pam slept, "Hey, Jim. If you turned into one of those things, who would you eat first?"

"One of those what?" Jim asked.

"A cannibal. Like in the movie"

For a moment, Jim thought, then decided to play along and add his sarcastic whit to the situation. "I would eat Pam" he responded.

"Pam" Dwight scoffed, "Her? Come on! Look at her, she's lean, not an ounce of fat. You would go through her in a minute."

"I only eat lean food" Jim smiled.

"You're not a man. If it was me, I would eat Michael. There is an old Indian legend that if you eat the body parts of your slain enemy, then you possess that one's power, like their brains for intelligence and eyes for their sight."

"So, you would eat out Michael?" Jim asked.

"Yes, I would."

"You would eat out Michael?"

"Yes, I would eat out Michael!" Dwight blurted out loud for the entire cabin to hear. Red faced, he sank back into his chair and remained silent for the rest of the journey as Pam giggled into her small pillow. Right after touch down, it was a straight shot through the terminal and towards the exit. It was hard to keep up with fast paced Michael whom took a distant lead. They caught up with him outside on the curb as he tried to hail a taxi. "Where is the hotel?" he asked Pam.

Reaching into her purse she said, "I have the reservations. I wrote them down for you, here," handing a neatly folded white paper over. Opening it up, all the information was inside. "Good" he said, folding it back up and stuffing it into his interior pocket then went back to hailing a cab. Weather conditions outside were absolutely foul. Muggy, humidity high, and sun bearing down on them, the four had to wait for a ten minutes for a taxi to become available. When there was, it was another arduous trip to the hotel. Everywhere they looked, sidewalks, roads, and buildings were packed full of business people of all sorts.

"Must be one heck of a convention" Jim wondered as he watched groups bidding for rooms. Arriving at the hotel, they were stunned to see the total amount of people that swamped the main desk. "Just stay cool. We have our reservations. Corporate made them themselves," Michael weakly smiled as he put all his faith into corporate as they pushed their way through the throng of peoples. Just one lady was there behind the desk, mid-forties, long brown hair bounded in the bac0 putting up a smile that Jim swore would make anyone's cheek sore for days. "Can I help you, sir?"

"Yes, rooms under Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin"

"Oh, yes. I remember. Let me pull up the registry," she began rapping on a keyboard and pulled up the information and found two rooms under that name and informed Michael of this.

"Just two rooms? How in the hell can there be two rooms. There are four of us," Michael said stunned.

"Sorry, sir. But, that is what you requested."

_Michael: It is all Pam's fault. Period._

Taking the keys they went upstairs to their rooms. In the hall Michael stopped, "Look, we will have to share two rooms between us this weekend. Now, I will take one, and Pam, being a woman, will have to take the other. Dwight, Jim, you will have to decide whom to bunk with. I know it breaks many rules but these rooms are small and we don't have the money to pay for any additional rooms." Even if they did there would be no chance of finding one for every room in this hotel was booked solid. "Pam, I'll let you choose who do you want as your roommate?

Though knowing that selecting a roommate was wrong in many ways, "Jim" she snapped without any regrets.

With a pause, Michael said, "Think carefully about whom you choose."

"Jim."

Cursing to himself, Michael turned to punch in his key for his room. Following close behind was full of smiles Dwight. Next door Pam inserted her key, they entered their room at the same time Michael did with Dwight. It was a nice, clean place with two beds and a night stand in between with a telephone and plasma screen televisions. Heaving his light bag onto his bed, that he claimed with "mine", Jim shucked off his sweater and then dropped the temperature to clear out the moisture that hung around him. Already feeling the weather, Pam downed a bottle of water she carried and entered the bathroom. Thus, left alone, Jim sat at the foot of his bed to ponder what to do next when there came a low hum of activity coming through the wall.

It was from Michael's room. Dwight had jimmied his DVD player and connected it to the television and was already watching the movie, again. Protesting up and down, Michael defied his assistant to give it up and turned it to something else.

_Jim: Michael and Dwight have been together for about five minutes and Michael has killed Dwight at least fifty times in his mind._

"Look, just, shut that thing off and put on the news, or something," Michael ordered, "God, I'm tired already. Take a shower, Dwight and be ready at a moment's notice. No telling who we have to meet out here. But, I also want you to be normal. This will be a normal trip, with normal people. Nothing will happen. And there are just two normal men in this room for the weekend," Michael assured.

_Jim: Yes, between two normal men. One of whom wanted to eat you out on the plane, Michael._

Dwight obeyed Michael's order and went into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind as Michael, unable to find anything good on television, decided to head downstairs. In his departure closed the door but it did not close completely, the small strong arm blocked it thus Jim, hearing Dwight singing in the shower, came over sensing an opportunity.

Emerging from the steam infested bathroom, rubbing a white towel over his matted hair, Dwight had no way of knowing what had transpired in his absence until he saw his shattered dreams on his bed, the cut up discs of his Dead series with what looked like blood on the reflective surfaces.

"No! Who did this? Why?" Dwight cried then he saw the blood and something clicked in his mind.

Shutting the door behind, Jim could overhear Dwight's pitiful cries as he held the shattered remnants of his beloved DVDs. A sudden, yet bewildering thought entered his mind as well. It would involve a bit of cunning and would likely severe ties between Dwight and Jim. All the more reason to do it. A light knock gained Pam's attention in the bathroom. Drawn away from the mirror from putting on her make up Pam opened the door to reveal her taller friend whom asked, "Hey, how much make up did you bring with you?

"Why?" she asked.

"Because zombies have come to South Carolina" putting on a sinister smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the character to "The Office" They are owned by NBC as far as I know.

Situated prominently on the toilet, Jim tapped lightly on his knees, Pam returned to her purse to retrieve the necessary materials needed to carry out this latest attack on Dwight. Things were pretty tight for the four man group. Office rumors were that everything was in a down hill spiral, this little gag might just perk things up. Another addition to a growing list of malfeasance Dwight had compiled against his desk mate from the past four years, it did not even phase Helpert a single bit. Pam was a little reluctant at first though, "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, if Dwight freaks out and attacks, we might be arrested."

"Don't worry," Jim assured, "he will freak out and run, then I will quickly remove all this and play innocent."

"You sure that will work?" Pam asked.

"Only if you support my statement."

Situated on a toilet, Jim watched as Pam laid out an array of various makeup products. First up was pale skin all over his face, neck, and hands to give an already dead tone. A wide brush, a simple dab and it began to soak through his skin. Burned at first, it was a mild bleaching agent. Hard to believe at first Pam would carry this stuff around, "the real hard part is removing all of this when it's over" Jim worried as Pam continued for several more minutes. Burning was unbearable. Oh what he must do to make a joke. Prior ones were simple, such as moving his desk to the bathroom, or telling Dwight that there was an abandoned baby in the bathroom, only to see Phyllis on the can. Once the bleach set in, Pam went over his pours with a pencil to highlight them with black or green to give a slight decay look and purple under the eyes.

"don't worry so much. I am an artist after all. I can do this perfectly" she assured Jim as she applied dabs of red under chapped lips to simulate blood salivating from his mouth. She wanted to add more to his shirt, as if he had just ripped apart a victim.

"If that's the case, I would have to eat you" Jim informed Pam.

"Why me?" she asked, crating a stream of blood down to Helpert's chin. "Because the cute girl is the first one to die in every horror movie?"

"Yep"

"Jim, that would make it more complicated. Just do the monster for now, scare Dwight, then we'll have our giggles. Besides, if we have a victim, someone might see us and go into a tizzy and take it the wrong way." Pam snapped.

Taken aback, Jim sat silently as she added the final touches to his outfit.

"I'm sorry, Jim" she said, "This trip is really putting a strain on my mind. I hope they do not close down our branch."

Pam: Everyone in our office is in a rut. I believe Jim's practical joke will help liven things up a bit. I plan on recording it with my cell phone and sending it to Toby back in Pennsylvania.

"everything is all set, just need one more thing" Skin was a pale white, lips cut and bleeding, one eye was closed, the other barely open, hair damaged even further than before, and special contacts inserted.

"Still can't believe you kept these contacts since Halloween" Jim said to Pam as he placed them in.

Pam: I was a cat for last Halloween, and I ordered some special yellow contacts for my eyes, but I never used them and forgot they were still in my purse. Luckily, Jim came up with this wild idea and I came across them while removing my make up kit.

Pam commented further, "This will freak Dwight out. What do you think he will do?"

"Hopefully he didn't bring his spud gun with him" they laughed then looked at one another concerned.

Across the hall, Dwight was still in tears over his ruined movie. It was even more of a loss than a family member. "What beast could do such a thing? Why? I have to notify the authorities!"

Dwight: My personal property has been destroyed and thus, the authorities must investigate the situation. As a volunteer sheriffs deputy, I know fully well the course of events and what needs to be done. First I need a list of suspects. The most obvious is…Jim and Pam. Michael would not do such a thing, we are like twins. We can finish the sentence the other has started.

In a rage, he collected the remnants and stomped out into the hall, allowing Jim to slip out towards the opposite direction and hide around a corner, waiting for his victim's return. Giggling, Pam as waiting behind the door, cell phone in hand, ready to catch what transpired.

Several tense moments passed, Dwight was not coming back. Both onlookers waited impatiently, where could he have gone to? There was no DVDs on sale downstairs, perhaps he went down to front desk to complain of a break in. If that was the case, it would be hours before he returned. Ready to give up after twenty minutes, Jim sulked back to his room and was about to knock to be let in when a chime and a string of profanity informed him that Dwight had returned. Huffing it back to his hiding spot, Jim wondered if he could still pull off the greatest joke.

"Damn minimum wage. All that money and they still cannot work a cart worth a damn" Dwight complained. He knocked on the door, not knowing that Michael had drowned out all outside noise with his earphones. Pounding louder, it also muffled the approach of Jim from down the hall as he limped closer. One arm raised cockeyed forward, jaw hung loose, short haired carpet gave off a low shuffle noise. With no music, seeing him approach to an unsuspecting Dwight was eerie. Closer and closer he came. Back to her, Pam was watching from a peep hole. Out of the corner, she could scarcely make out Jim's hand when Dwight began to turn. Sensing that now was it, she started to record and placed the camera's lenses through the peephole and hoped that it would come out.

"Oh, sweet Jesus!" came a high pitched scream. Lumbering closer on a lame leg, gurgling his saliva, and showing intent on devouring him, Jim inched closer. "Run for the hills!" he screamed, tearing like hell down the halls. Those that could hear his warning opened their doors to see what all the commotion was about, only to see a white moon faced man with glasses and a tie flapping behind like a scarf.

Still at the scene of the crime was Jim, in make up laughing uncontrollably. Pam had opened up the door, a smile on her face as well.

"How did it turn out?" he asked.

"Priceless" she responded.

Both of them laughed, the look of Dwight's face infused into their minds. Unbeknownst to them, an elderly women had come out from her room and was walking by towards the elevator. She did not ask why they were laughing but saw the blood on Jim and was startled. "Why are you dressed like that?" she paused to ask.

"Practical joke, i'm a cannibal"

"A cannibal? You mean like in those movies?"

"Yes"

"Nice make up. Very convincing" she complimented.

With a smile, Jim began to shuffle right for the lady whom laughed "Oh, you wicked man! Stop! Help!" then walked away full of smiles.

Problem now was, he had to remove all of this before anyone in the staff found out and evicted the whole lot.

Faster than a dial up internet connection, Dwight flew down a flight of stairs all the way down to ground level. Blowing through the doors, he pushed aside individuals, hurtled over small children, and plowed an elderly man to the ground. "Run! Run!" he screamed from his agape mouth, "They are coming. They have Jim! They have Pam! They ate her! They ate him! They ate each other!"

Rambling this over and over again, he collapsed and crawled all the way towards the front desk.

"you have to help me!" Dwight yelled.

"what is it, sir?" she asked.

"There are cannibals in your hotel!"

"Cannibals?"

"Yes, flesh eaters. They are after me. Do you have any guns around. Just shoot them in the head!" Finished, Dwight ran off into the lobby, leaving staff rather spellbound as to what this matter pertained to.

Michael was still laying on his bed without a care in the world while the rest of his staff was terrorizing the hotel. The only person not in on this was him, and he didn't care.


End file.
